Romancing The Home: Why has Salem gone from happy homes to homewrecker-happy?

Jack and Jennifer

So a combination of the Oscars’ too short homage to Gone With The Wind and Days wedding disaster after wedding disaster after wedding disaster, got me thinking about another huge reason the show sucks sweat socks right now.  You'd sooner find Vivian burning cookies with Chloe before finding even a lick of romance on this thing.

Fan wars.  Nasty, right?  Much like the Countess Bathory believed she could retain her youth by soaking in a tub of virgin’s blood, Cordiglay seems to feed off the blood shed by the slain soldiers of fan wars.  How else could you explain why the women of Salem bounce around from one man to the other like pinballs?

Correction: Whose mind is the scene of the crime?

Since the leaked footage of Sami shooting EJ hit the internet like a shit storm, people have been speculating that anything and everything that’s happened since that fateful night in the no-security home of the DiMeras is just someone’s nightmare (I mean someone aside from just myself and about ninety-nine percent of Days’ viewers).  Now that the show has finally hit infinitely ridiculous proportions not seen since the Salem Stalker fiasco with this whole Rafe/Efar disaster, the saccharine suppository Ken Corday decided to administer in the form of the EJ/Taylor love story, and Chloe’s leap off the pier (possibly in an attempt to escape the show), the speculation that this could all be a dream is our dream.

The Case for Chloe

There was a time when I really loved Chloe.  And I still love her, I guess, despite the huge rift between us right now.

Like just about every character currently on this show, I'm chalking up her extremely out of character behaviour to something or someone poisoning Salem's water supply - a twist that will be revealed some time within the next three years, or when Dena Higley is asked to pack up her little laptop with "Hard as Hell" and "I am woman - hear me bore" decals on the lid.

If you're reading this, O Powers That Be, take note.  This can all be fixed with someone waking up and proclaiming that the past few months were "all just a nightmare" or "someone has been tainting the town's booze supply".  I know it's sort of the same thing that would happen in a story written by a twelve-year-old once the twelve-year-old lost interest in it and just wanted to hand the stupid thing in, but really - is the current situation at Days so different?

Hello. It ain't me you're looking for.

I've come down with a bit of a cold, which sounds like a bad thing.  But it isn't, because this way I get to go from this:

 

To this:

 

Which I'll need to get through this:

Nicole: Never Fucking Ever Land

Nicole has been one of my favourite characters for some time now, and I have to say I'm really unhappy with what's been done to her over the past couple of years.  The EJ/Nicole sex yesterday pushed me over the edge.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Nicole was once a force to be reckoned with. I mean what's not to love? Funny, clever, sharp-tongued (and often fork-tongued), tough as nails on the outside but with an ooey-gooey centre, that, unfortunately, has been dipped into a few too many times (particularly over the past few months).  Nicole is my lady-crush.

Nicole, much like EJ, hasn't been allowed to grow up.  She's stuck in Never Fucking Ever Land.  The only suspense left in her story these days is whether or not she's going to escape the endless cycle of meaningless sex, get over her obsession with Sydney, or go two weeks without blackmailing anyone, being called a whore or having her porny past thrown up in her face.

Jane, Rochester, Janet, Brad, Rocky...

Well, hello there.

Another day.  Another Days.  Another daze.

Career Change

Rafe believes that EJ's plan is to leave a note for Sami saying he had to leave town to take care of some urgent police business then try to make some moves on Sami in an effort to win her back.

EJ chuckles.

"Oh, Rafe.  I think it's about time you considered a new career."

Jesus, me too.

While Rafe's plan would have made more sense (by Days standards, of course), one has to wonder if Sami wouldn't have figured out what was really going on in a matter of nano-seconds based on the fact that Rafe's urgent police business has not only never taken him out of town, it's barely taken him out of his apartment.

Dena Higley Through the Looking Glass

Rereading 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland' and 'Through the Looking Glass' is always a treat.  They're both the sort of books where you discover something new, or relate different passages to things happening around you.  And in the past little while I decided I could apply it rather nicely to my Dena Higley ranting.

'That's the effect of living backwards,' the Queen said kindly: 'it always makes one a little giddy at first--'

'Living backwards!' Alice repeated in great astonishment. 'I never heard of such a thing!'

'--but there's one great advantage in it, that one's memory works both ways.'

'I'm sure MINE only works one way,' Alice remarked. 'I can't remember things before they happen.'

'It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,' the Queen remarked.